Why Love?

We lose sight of why we love someone
Is it comfort or familiarity?
Is it that it’s all we know,
So that will be good enough?
Is it enough to love your partner,
If he’s a good father,
When you should really love him,
For being a good husband?
No.

Hypocrit

Why would you talk to me?
I’m never really there.
I react badly if your words are critical
So, why would you talk to me?
I am so very introverted
Words constantly fill me head
It’s hard for me to hear you
So, why would you talk to me?







In one afternoon I managed to erase
A decade and a half of love
I tried to do “the right thing”
And was found to be sadly lacking.
I did manage to break your trust
I erased of me your admiration
I dismantled your respect for me
So I at least accomplished something.
I’ve known for some time that I hurt you
I didn’t know how to soothe you
For I loathed myself with such intensity
For me to soothe you would be fiendish.
For, I was the source of your pain
Healing you would be hypocritical
I hope you find comfort
In the embrace of a better man.

He's

He’s tall and he’s attractive
He’s rich and has style
He’s romantic and intimate
He’s quick to match your smile.
He’s exotic and extroverted
He’s sensuous and well travelled
He’s everything that I am not
My lie has now unravelled.
He’s going to love your laugh
He’s going to be safe in your arms
He’s going to enjoy showing you the world
As you savour each other’s charms.
I’m not the jealous type you say
That’s nice of you to spot
I’ll be happy that you’re getting
All the things I’m not.

Very Special

You wanted something very special
You told me all about it
I nodded my shallow agreement
And was happy to play along.
But I underestimated its importance
And when you changed your mind
I didn’t realise how important it was
So was happy to oblige.
The fire still burned within you
And along came something very special
Offered by another, of kindred outlook
And now you’re not here.
I don’t blame you for this happening
I just wish you would have taken my hand
And told me how very important it was
And made me understand.
Now I know I’ve blown it
Now I’m not very important
You’ll find another who’ll listen
Who’ll really understand.

Hollow

A façade, hollow, without substance
Empty, eaten from the inside
No depth or strength remains intact
Feel free me to deride.
I look the same from the outside
But inside I’m a shell
I’ve engineered through my actions
A twisted and bitter hell.
For my words don’t match my actions
Feel free me to leave
What I do has become the opposite
Of what I pretend to believe.

Snooze

I’ve been up and down and out of bed
Three times in the last 5 hours
Guilt and unease chase each other in my head
Each one steadily gaining power.
Nothing takes the pain away
Not pills or blood or booze
I’m cursing the man that I’ve become
As through the last 5 years I’ve snoozed.
Too wrapped up in my own charade
Too self-absorbed to truly see
That the one light in all my life
Was being slowly extinguished by me.

This Year

Another month has slithered by,
Time the days will often rend,
Soon this year will be a memory,
As it lumbers to its end.
Not long ago I looked forward,
Now what do I find?
I'm looking the other way,
At this year I look behind.