The Little Things

Such unbridled excitement,
Over things so small,
I forget that I ever enjoyed,
The little things at all.
For days you've anticipated,
Us going to the park,
To ride our bikes and the swings,
And in general have a lark.
So, whilst, I think it's trivial,
We'll do this little thing,
And I'll enjoy your excitement,
And the satisfaction it me brings.

Twisted

You take my words and twist them,
Into hate I don't recognise,
I try to make the world seem lighter,
You mutate it before my eyes.
You cut me off in mid-sentence,
You subtly deride my plans,
You make me feel so frustrated,
And then refuse to understand,
I hope you choke on your poison,
And it leaves you twisted and dead,
With only a longing for what you had,
Decaying in your head.

Out of the Frying Pan

I was wheeling a load of mulch,
My barrow full to the brim,
When I noticed an interesting spider,
Had also decided to jump in.
About two inches across the legs,
It scuttled to and fro,
It seemed in two minds, perplexed,
About where next it should go.
As I deposited my rotting load,
I noticed something queer,
My little, scuttling, arachnid friend,
Had decided to disappear.
Twenty minutes later, still toiling,
The pile was becoming small,
I had not considered anything,
Concerning the spider at all,
When I felt a tickle behind my neck,
Reached up and gave a flick,
And surprisingly dislodged the spider,
Who performed the next trick.
It sailed though the air,
Legs splayed far and wide,
It glided with surprising effortlessness,
Even yawing from side to side.
When from on high a butcher bird,
Thundered from the sun,
It snatched the spider in mid-air,
It's meal hunting now done.
It flew off with the spider clenched,
In it's wicked beak,
To deposit it in its nest,
Then off for further prey to seek.
But what's the moral of the story?
I guess I have a hunch,
One moment you're flying high,
The next moment you are lunch.

Symbiotic Relationship

My daughters and I are symbiotic,
I would expect no less,
For as I thunder around tidying,
They re-create the mess.

Harry Potter is Like Gene Simmons (from KISS)

Both have been seen as evil,
Both experienced events tragic,
With parents who experienced so much pain,
Both have an aura that's magic.
Both are experienced artists,
With a bass or with a wand,
Both have a far-reaching power,
With a group they effortlessly bond.
Both have suffered accusations,
Of ties to the Dark Lord,
Both were ill when they were young,
Surviving through inner strength stored.
Both are hideously famous,
Both immediately recognised,
For both have a deliberate strategy,
To be commercialised.

Sounds

Steaks sizzling upon a grill
Leaves moving mindlessly
Fabric gliding across a lover
A cautionary whisper
An eddying mountain stream
Tall grass swaying in the breeze
Skis through powdered snow
Such are the sounds of rain.

Indoor Plant

My wife wanted some life inside,
A pot plant she requested,
She came home with some containers,
With plants we were to be infested.
So, I grew some plants from seed,
The seedlings grew with rigour,
Soon they had touched the roof,
A testimony to my vigour.
Until the police raided our home,
On a tip they had been sent,
It seems that I had been confused,
About what a "pot plant" meant.

Just Playing with Words

Circumnavigate,
Circumcise,
Concise,
Conquest,
Request,
Relieve,
Believe,
Beneath,
Underneath,
Underpants.

Our Fight is Over

You and me have a history,
To you I have been cruel,
To me you have been determined,
That of me you would make a fool.
You have been prodigious in your efforts,
Rumours have been spread,
And I have cut you down so often,
The memories hurt my head.
But let's put that in the past,
That's where it deserves to be,
Come, accept this drink,
You look so parched and thirsty.
And as you slake your thirst,
Safe that our fight is done,
Know that your drink was poisoned,
And that I've finally won.

Silence

I ask you something simple,
You just stare
And frown.
Has our relationship eroded
To the point of no return?

I wait with patient silence
You just stare
And stare.
I am stubborn and single-minded,
I won't save you this time
Rest under your narrow blanket.

I am tempted to intervene
You are plainly uncomfortable
And withdrawn.
Do I set a difficult precedent
Or play your game?

Grey Hairs

I had just been to the toilet,
And while I was washing my hands,
I looked into the mirror,
And a tremor struck my hands.
For standing there before me,
Returning my horrified stares,
Was a person besieged by,
A multitude of grey hairs.
Now, I've found the odd one,
But didn't dwell in the dumps,
But now they have multiplied,
And are there in clumps.
It's the first time I've noticed them,
They have come to the fore,
But I won't worry about them,
Because then there will be more.
I won't dye my hair either,
That never looks quite right,
Plus, where do you draw the line,
When against aging you fight?
I won't pluck them out either,
Against that I'm firmly set,
Because with my receding hairline,
I need every hair I can get.
So, perhaps I should become more stately,
And less inclined to rage,
This could be a blessing in disguise

DVD Sale

It was a DVD sale,
For so long advertised,
And people were brought together,
Next to those they despised.
For each person hated the other,
Their loathing deep and complete,
For each person that attended,
Was another with which to compete.
They gathered deep onto the footpath,
Jostling for the best position,
For being too far away,
Was not a good proposition.
The doors flew open wide,
And people pushed and punched,
They dove headlong at the opening,
In a throng they were bunched.
The door frame exploded impressively,
As the horde thundered on,
They wanted to reach the tables,
Before the good titles were all gone.
I had delivered explicit instructions,
To my kids numbering two,
"Run under the legs of people,
And this I'm telling you -
Grab every DVD you can,
Snatch them if you must,
Because the adults will give into you,
Because that's only just.
Don't grab multiple copies,
Just a single of each one,
I'll signal with a whistle,
When I think we're done.
I'll go to the centre,
That's where the crowd will be,
Soph go right, Erin left,
And then in the centre meet me."
Soph was tugging with a gent,
Over a title that was rare,
She started crying with gusto,
For this tactic we'd prepared,
He sheepishly let her have it,
And Soph didn't linger,
She just smiled and kept going,
While he gave her the finger.
Erin crawled under the table,
Making it slightly sway,
Only to find tomorrow's releases,
Where they'd hidden them away.
I elbowed through all the people,
The kids did remarkably well,
We gathered some impressive titles,
The other shoppers can go to Hell.
We selected the ones we wanted,
Put the other ones on the table,
I know that this underhanded,
And even slightly unstable.
But my girls and I are addicted,
When we watch a DVD,
They grab a drink and some chips,
And come and sit on my knee.
For, they take after me like this,
And whatever the weather,
DVDs are our time enjoying

Fog

Broiling with tumbling intensity
The fog embraces the trees
Warmly encircling them
In its damp embrace.
Sheathing everything in indiscriminate grey
And blurring harsh outlines
Objects meld into delightful blends
Striking, startling and surprising.
The light diffuses through the mist
In some places harsh and glaring
In others making little impact
Merely adding to the mystery.
Until the day moves inexorably onwards
Gradually burning off the mist
Erasing evidence of the event
But leaving a lasting memory.

Fungus

The fungus began upon my feet,
It spread like wild fire,
It climbed my legs and my knees,
Striving to reach ever higher.
Past my waist and over my chest,
Even past my neck,
Now it has covered me completely,
I say, "What the heck?"
People just stop and stare,
As I walk down the street,
Making jokes about moving moss,
With adjectives I can't repeat.
But at least I can make a killing,
Living life so sublime,
I think I'll join the circus,
And be the living slime.

Of Anger and Art

I'm angry about my middle name,
What were my parents thinking?
I'm angry at my little toe,
I'm sure that it's been drinking.
I suggest you look at your art work,
Particularly the frame,
Dress like a penguin and take it to dinner,
But it won't remember your name.
(Or call you the next day.)

Valentine's Day

Instead of supprting Valentine's Day,
Buying expensive stuff interest free,
Instead boycott this silly tradition,
And just send all your money to me.

Burn

Enjoy the emptiness,
Embrace the dumbness,
Encourage the uninformed,
Fertilise the prejudiced.
Stroke the opinionated,
Fuel the discriminators,
Exclude the disenfranchised.
Let's watch each other burn.

Tools for Life

I look out with flavoursome despair,
My loves will inherit same,
The struggle is painfully predetermined,
The referee has fixed the game.
My tears will go un-noticed,
My silence is my lament,
I am crippled by noble inaction,
My values are irretrievably bent.
Pray God that you have the strength,
To ignore substances so attractive,
Grant me the strength to be there,
And our relationship be proactive.

Dentist Visit – The Reality

The outer office was respectfully somber,
My nails bled through my fist,
For I had finally relented,
And gone to the dentist.
I could feel half a tooth was missing,
God knows where it went,
My gums were bleeding when I brushed,
And my palate felt so bent.
I had angered the Oral Gods,
Not good, is it?
For it had been seven years,
Since my last dental visit.
The dentist smiled his wolfish smile,
Sparkling without compare,
Then he looked me up and down,
And offered me the chair.
His assistant bent over me too,
Their groan caused me consternation,
They seemed so preoccupied,
With such supreme concentration.
The drill sang its soprano song,
Vibrating my brain in my head,
Until he decided to get to work,
And he bored right through my head.
He removed part of my cranium,
It’ll never be the same,
In my mouth he tattooed an eagle,
And then he carved his name.
He performed an appendectomy,
And then he shortened my bowel,
Then he added and egg laying feature,
From a water fowl.
He added a chamber to my heart,
And shortened one of my legs,
The he became even more excited,
As I commenced to lay some eggs.
He hollowed out my chest cavity,
And looked past my vacant stare,
And commenced to insert a television,
And a video player in there.
He removed my nose and replaced it,
In the centre of my knee,
He put an eye on each shoulder,
So like a lizard I now see.
He turned my feet around to face backwards,
But then he’d had his fill,
He ejected me from the chair,
And gave me a ten thousand dollar bill.
He intoned, “I’ve fixed it all,
It’s all been repaired,
Don’t leave it so long next time.”
From my shoulders I blankly stared.

Dentist Visit – The Fantasy

The outer office was respectfully somber,
My nails bled through my fist,
For I had finally relented,
And gone to the dentist.
I could feel half a tooth was missing,
God knows where it went,
My gums were bleeding when I brushed,
And my palate felt so bent.
I had angered the Oral Gods,
Not good, is it?
For it had been seven years,
Since my last dental visit.
The dentist smiled his wolfish smile,
Sparkling without compare,
Then he looked me up and down,
And offered me the chair.
His assistant bent over me too,
Their groan caused me consternation,
They seemed so preoccupied,
With such supreme concentration.
He poked and then he prodded,
She handed him all manner of Hell,
He smiled his grimace and remarked,
“All seems perfectly well.
You have a tooth that’s never grown,
That happens quite a bit,
And by the looks of your mouth,
You’re stressed more than just a bit.
Your bottom teeth are being ground away,
Before you say a peep,
You must carry significant stress,
And grind them in your sleep.
We can make you a device,
That won’t let the grinding start,
Put it in as you go to bed,
And it’ll keep your teeth apart.
Oh, and with this health care card,
That you’ve been able to bring,
I’ll charge you in a special way,
So you don’t pay a thing.”
I blundered from the office,
My mind simply frozen and stuck,
On one single, repetitive phrase,
Being, “What the …”

Breathless

Ihavemissedyougreatly,
Thesinthatisyourskin,
Breathlesswithanticipation,
IsthestatethatI'min.
Ican'tbreathwiththetension,
Youhavecapturedeverybreath,
IfIcouldexpireinyourembrace,
Itwouldbeawelcomedeath.
Butthatshallneverhappen,
Youaremytreasuredwife,
Weshallalwaysbreathtogether,
Andtogetherwe'llembracelife.

No Outward Sign

I don't know if you're happy,
You won't give me a sign,
Your happiness is so truncated,
It never matches mine.
You don't display much emotion,
Your moods are uniformly grey,
You never seem to comprehend,
A single word I have to say.
Why must you torture me so?
Just give me an outward sign,
A slight form of movement,
Just this one single time?
But I refuse to be disheartened,
My sorrows I shall not wail,
You can't show me you're happy,
Because corgis don't have a tail.

Fashion Sense

My shoes match my socks
My belt matches my shoes
My shirt compliments my pants
My tie compliments both.

My shoes and socks are old
My belt is old too
My pants are dirty, my shirt is not
My tie is wrinkled.

It Makes Sense (To Me)

I had to go to pick up my grandfather
That overwhelmed me
We were late getting home
That overwhelmed me
I didn’t have my medication
That overwhelmed me
I didn’t get much sleep
That overwhelmed me
No-one listens to me
You’re the one in charge
You listen to what I say
But you don’t read it
My thoughts are transparent
You look right through them
I’m a black sheep
Amongst white ones
I’ll be like a sheep in a thunderstorm
And blend into the ground
I’m so stupid
Like dirt
I’ll be normal like all the others
I’ll be stupid and a waste of time
I’ll do it until the cows come home

Monday Morning

Water bottles missing,
Ice bricks not frozen,
All apples eaten,
Shirts not ironed.
Clock is speeding,
Humidity is stifling,
Form isn’t signed,
No change for excursion.
Showers not had,
Dog peed on carpet,
Brushes nowhere handy,
Power has gone out.

Receipt

I’ve heard all about Karma,
It’s views I won’t repeat,
But lately I have another notion,
I call it a Receipt.
The person who cuts you off when driving,
Someone we all meet,
Gets caught for speeding later,
Then that’s his Receipt.
The person in the checkout,
Pushes into line,
Only to have the checkout malfunction,
Their Receipt is then fine.
The person who shows you kindness,
Selfless and full of praise,
Gets that kindness back many fold
The Receipts come in for days.
So, next time someone crosses you,
Doing things you can’t repeat,
Be safe in the knowledge that,
Soon they’ll get their Receipt.

Surprise

Our computer had finally died,
It had been sick for some time,
It happens to just about everything,
Somewhere down the line.
You don’t realise how much you use them,
Until they are not there,
But we sat collectively as a family,
And shared our deep despair.
It was dropped off to the repairer,
To be made alive,
But it would take weeks to fix,
Between one and five.
Our long faces grew much longer,
This problem was a Mother,
Without the computer in the house,
We’d have to talk to each other!
In desperation I Phoned a Friend,
In the computer game,
To see if he could help in any way,
To make our lives the same.
He knew of none for sale cheaply,
Or for short-term lease,
Stealing was an optioned mentioned,
To get to meet police.
I thanked him for his trouble,
Not expecting any favours,
But luck can be any shape or form,
And comes in many flavours.
A search of the newspaper followed,
Nothing really was there,
Second hand shops were too expensive,
It was all too much to bear.
When my friend called two days later,
To offer us his machine,
They have two, you see –
A better person there’s never been.
This was a very generous offer,
I grabbed it with both hands,
Appropriately appreciative of his kindness,
And one who understands.
I asked for nothing, but got the world,
My evil plans have been laid,
To thank him for his empathy,
So his kindness is repaid.

I Remembered

Looking at nothing in particular
I remembered that I love you
I remembered that it’s been a while
Since I’ve told you.
So, I’ll call you to tell you
That I remembered that I love you
And I’ve not told you in a while
If I don’t forget.

To Do List

I must make a to do list,
I need one to survive,
I’d add that to my to do list,
But I don’t have one.