Big Stiff One

I like a big stiff one,
It makes me feel all right,
It gives me so much pleasure,
Each and every night.
I like it in every room,
I like it long and white,
I even like it long and black,
They're all the same at night.
I like to hold it in my bed,
I'll hold it in my chair,
I grasp it with both my hands,
Until empty - nothing there.
I caress it so very often,
It makes me strong and stout,
I love my occasional coke and bourbon,
What did you think this was about?

I'd just sat down with a big, stiff drink and thought that term might be confused with something else. Perfect fodder for poetry with a twist.