Ode to You

I love the way you're there for me,
Patiently you wait,
You are at my beck and call,
I think you're simply great.
We never fight or argue,
You like to hold my hand,
You listen to all my problems,
And try to understand.
You've never deserted me,
In my times of need,
You are not prone to jealousy,
Anger, stress or greed.
You've always done what I ask of you,
At a suggestion you never baulk,
I know I can rely on you,
My treasured, trusty fork.

Believe it or not, forks are a precious commodity at school. No sooner do we buy a whole heap more … they disappear! So, I have a fork in my office that I have brought from home. As I sat down I saw it out of the corner of my eye and thought, "Now, what if I took this fork thing a bit further?" I didn't want to take it too far, so actually drew some mental boundaries about how far I was going with the idea (sex with cutlery isn't a pleasing metal, er, mental image - there, I said it).